But Most of All, If You Love Jesus….

The words below are for people who believe in Jesus and are struggling with communication problems in their marriage.  One of the biggest warning signs there are, is when you recognize your self as a separate entity within the marriage, maybe it’s separate bank accounts, maybe it’s separate ministries, separate this and that, and pretty soon, everything is separate.

I have a very good friend (a believer), who is struggling within the marriage relationship, and I wrote this for _____.  I realize each marriage is unique and each marital problem is unique.  There may be people who take offense to this.  There may be people who relate.  I know that the Bible is very clear about those of us who know the truth and walk away from it, 2 Peter 2:21.

My dear friend, do you remember when?

When (_______) got married a second time and we felt like we were going to a funeral instead of a wedding?

When we couldn’t take our kids to their grandparent’s house again, because they didn’t live together anymore?  We still took them to visit their grandparents, but it was never the same.

That was just yesterday and we swore that would never happen to us……

We swore we would never put our kids through that, so help us God.

So what happened? 

When did you decide you didn’t need God’s help?

….communication breakdown? 

If the silence goes on for too long, the lies take over. 

You of all people – love being tough, why not fight the lies?

You always thought you were so strong, well guess what?

No one is stronger than the lies.  No one except Him.

So what can we do?  We can’t – but He can.

And He tells us to confess (speak out loud) that we might be healed (helped along by other brothers and sisters in the Lord) James 5:15 – 17.

Jesus saw this (your pain) coming, and let them pin it all on Him and nail Him to a cross.

So the least you can do is pin your pride there too. 

You know how to press in and push through anything – this time DON’T – let Him.

But while you’re letting Jesus help you, don’t decide what He can and cannot do.

Have you forgotten nothing is impossible with Christ? Luke 1:37

You tell me you’re not sure what to do, God does and He’s given us a formula to follow that will bring the most miraculous outcome…..

It’s just that very few choose to trust Him, and very few really want what is on the other side.

Are you really going to settle for the temporary, or do you want the eternal?

The lies like to make the temporal very attractive. 

It is a mystery to me, how so many of us believers at one time or another have trouble communicating with our spouse, so rather than sit up in the middle of night and battle it out until every last issue has been covered,  we look for another someone to communicate with?

What makes us so sure the problem doesn’t lie within our own hearts, and that the same communication issue will follow us where ever we go?   ….. unless we let Jesus deal with it.

Remember the race we’re in, remember there are witnesses watching our faith journey?

Are we going to give into those lies and be a stumbling block for our own children?

If you want the best for your spouse and your family, take a deep breath and put yourself last one more time….and read this message from God’s own mouth.

But most of all, if you love Jesus….

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For who ever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and the gospel will save it.”

I want you to know that I believe your pain is real, I also want you to know – there is no excuse for what is happening right now, but we humans, we that are “flesh” (Psalm 78:39), can always make something up.  What does the Bible say?  1 Corinthians 10:13

In Love and in Truth,





Creatures of Habit

Strange, but writing out the phrase “creatures of habit” doesn’t bring me any kind of peace,  instead those words bring me to my knees.   On my knees to meet with Jesus who knows us all by name, who can release the same power in our lives that rolled away His tombstone and brought Him back to life the third day, a power that can save us, change us and rescue us from remaining “creatures of habit”.

My friend is going to continue to wait for an apology before he goes back to church, an apology that may never come.  So why wait?  Creatures of habit.

Another friend is waiting on God to show her what to do about a relationship she is caught in the middle of.  Question is, why didn’t she wait on him before she jumped into it?  Creatures of habit.

A dear loved one is having trouble reading the Bible.  She has witnessed God’s transforming power in other people’s lives, and wants to experience that transformation too.  The Bible sits on her end table day after day, waiting for her to pick it up, but she still believes the lies she was told when she was little.  “You’re stupid” someone said.  She still believes the lies she was told when she got married, “you’re stupid” he said.  She didn’t like those words then and certainly doesn’t like them now but they’ve become familiar.  So instead of trying something new, instead of picking up the Bible that is full of truth and freedom and promise, she sticks with what she knows best – lies.  Creatures of habit!

Someone battles day after day with garbage that was dumped on him years ago.  Powerful garbage, the kind that seeps into your pours and smells from the inside out.  He’s making progress, he’s gaining ground and then……creatures of habit.

Someone lost his temper the other day.  He thought he could keep it under control by ignoring it, by working hard, by going through the motions by telling himself he’s good and then it appeared and destroyed everything.  Creatures of habit.

Someone got badgered again.  He’s never taken the reigns to protect her, never understood his position of leadership.  Always thought someone else could say it, if he couldn’t and now she suffers every day because he never said anything.  Creatures of habit.

Oh Lord, deliver me from my sin and the person that I am.  Fill me with your Holy Spirit anew every day that I might soar high above the circumstances of life and be that new creation instead of a creature of habit. 

And Lord, teach me how to pray when I am on my knees.   Teach me how to pray for others, that they too will experience new life in you – and be released from merely going through the motions.  I believe!