Human emotions are complicated. You never really know what is lying just below the surface to make someone decide one thing or another.
I’ve noticed that quite often, I decide I know – when the reality is – how can any of us really know what is going on in someone else’s head?
I have a theory. It comes from observing and listening and bungling things up for a very long time. If you see someone who is acting rude – chances are that person is very insecure, or afraid. If you see someone act like a snob, and down right unapproachable, chances are that person is acutely shy. If you see someone acting stubborn, putting a wall up, and shutting down – chances are they are broken-hearted. No, really, this isn’t just my eternal optimism talking.
You don’t have to be broken-hearted about lost love, there are plenty other things to be broken-hearted over, and I mean plenty.
The problem is, if we all shut down because of our broken hearts, there isn’t going to be any moving forward, there isn’t going to be life. We might expect the other person to do what ever needs to be done, but what if that person is shutting down? What if that person needs support?
I recognize how I am made, my personality type. I took one of those tests from a book called; “Discovering your Strengths”. Only problem is, my highest scoring trait isn’t very helpful when push comes to shove. My greatest strength according to the book is “responsibility”. This means I want to do the right thing at every turn. What does that equate to?
This means, I am bound to be alone a lot. If I am not careful, my “responsibility” could turn around and become – resentment.
This is why it is important for me to hang on very tight to Jesus. If I can’t be sure what the other person is going through, and I don’t want to assume, and step on toes, I can always ask Jesus for help. Quite simply, “Jesus, how am I suppose to proceed?”
Here is where it gets really painful. Don’t get me wrong, having a faithful friend in your corner is the best thing you could ever have, but He is always going to ask you to do the hard stuff. “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than himself” (Philippians 2:3 KJ21).
The bag that has the smiles in it, and the tender voice, and the soft response, and the understanding song, and the hand pats, and the open arms, and the prayers, and the tears….
Sometimes being a Mom, and the oldest sibling isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be. Wait a minute, maybe it is – I feel a crack coming on right now.
“The sacrifices of God [are] a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise” (Psalm 51:17 NIV).